literature

Altamura

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Pr0metheusUnb0und's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

           A Spanish lament
         blooms in high halls;               ... in incarcerated windows
      unflowering on the marble                 almost touching the vines
      then pouring and straining               in their stony spouse's eyes
   through jigsawed cobbled streets.             a length of breath away.

... and intermittently pulsing strings           The sadness of the World
    spray the orange from the lamps         sprouts in between the crevasses
          painting the cries                    ripe and full of taste -
       and mellowing the sorrow.                   a feast for crows          
                                                  and only one plate.
A small city in southern Italy. It's name means High Walls.

Questions for Critique:
1. Is the "high walls" metaphore clear enough?
2. Is there any line out of place?
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Comments24
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NeoPaladinOfLight's avatar
So I'm not big on the poetry thing, so when it comes to breaking up stanzas and having them do crazy things, I don't what to do. Didn't know what to do here, either. So I tried reading it one way, then I tried reading it another. Left to right. Top to bottom. Sideways. Backwards. Bottom to top.

Here's the funny thing, though. It didn't matter how I looked at it. It all came together. That stuff amazes me. And I got a different image from it every time.

I don't know if that's how it's supposed to be. But that's what happened with me, and I love it for that.